1. Transition Urges as Signals from the Inner Feminine or Masculine
Several detransitioned men describe their wish to become women as the voice of the anima—Jung’s term for the unconscious feminine side of a man—rather than proof they are literally female. When they feel exhausted or ashamed, the anima “bubbles up” and asks for gentleness, softness, or rest. Instead of taking hormones, they now meet those needs directly. “I started to notice that the urges to transition happen a lot for me when I’m burnt out… this revelation from Jung has me thinking that maybe instead of having to ‘say goodbye’ to the girl identity maybe there is a way to integrate it within the psyche.” – ponyclub2008 source [citation:fa3cac02-c249-4657-a1c1-38ca761a59e3] The same principle applies to detransitioned women who discover their urge to “become male” was the animus—the inner masculine—asking for assertiveness or protection. Recognizing these parts as normal aspects of a whole human being removes the pressure to change the body.
2. Shadow Work: Turning Shame into Self-Understanding
Many describe their dysphoria as a shadow formed by childhood trauma, bullying, or rigid gender rules. The pain was projected onto the body, making it seem as if the only escape was to become the opposite sex. By bringing the shadow into awareness—through therapy, journaling, or dream work—they learn that the real wound was never the body itself but the belief that their natural personality was “wrong.” “I recognise that part of my trans identity is a trauma response… I find myself inverting that shame into something I embody that I felt was my family’s and society’s biggest shame—being a feminine male.” – lillailalalala source [citation:bd2ee1b5-2090-42e4-b526-540e3c3259ac] Once the shame is named and grieved, the compulsion to transition often softens.
3. Individuation: Becoming Whole Instead of Changing Sex
Jung’s process of individuation—integrating every part of the self, both masculine and feminine—offers a non-medical roadmap. Detransitioners report that instead of “killing off” their birth sex, they cultivate a flexible persona that can express tenderness, strength, creativity, or assertiveness as needed. “Working on individuation / shadow work… for a better understanding and becoming conscious of what is triggering the gender dysphoria… establish a persona that makes me feel accepted and loved for who and what I am.” – Sam4639 source [citation:e0dff6ca-c0cd-41d3-b1b1-dd75fd5a5b2c] This work is slow and sometimes painful, but it allows them to inhabit their bodies with dignity rather than rejection.
4. Non-Binary Labels Reinforce the Very Boxes They Try to Escape
Some note that identifying as “non-binary” still keeps the old stereotypes alive: if you do not fit the mold of “man” or “woman,” you are placed in a third box instead of questioning why any box is needed. They conclude that true freedom lies in gender non-conformity—simply being oneself without a special label. “Acquire the ability to integrate our male and female parts as well as our aggressive and loving impulses… a good and long analytical work would have an effect on all comorbidities.” – Unimyri source [citation:a0ba8acd-2741-4e55-94d7-e26f350195c6] By dissolving the categories, they reclaim the full spectrum of human feeling and behavior.
Conclusion: A Path Home to Yourself
These stories show that the desire to transition can be a creative, symbolic call to heal inner splits, not a verdict that the body is wrong. By listening to the anima or animus, facing the shadow of shame, and pursuing individuation, detransitioners discover a spacious identity that honors both their biology and their personality. The journey is not about becoming someone else; it is about becoming whole.